Hearts Desire

So last week I came up with this idea to make a surprise keepsake box with a matching necklace... I posted it to my Etsy. Its 4 gifts in one really, a keepsake box, a fancy greeting card, a necklace and most importantly to me it is helping a child in need. I've decided to donate 20% proceeds from this box to St. Jude Children's Hospital. We are low income and I always wanted to help somehow but hated never having the money (its been hard enough getting by as it is) but this is very important to me and I really REALLY wanted to do something to help. I grew up with a lot of health problems not with cancer or any of that but I had a genetic disorder that wreaked havoc on my entire body so my heart is specially touched by kids who are ill, handicapped or suffering.. I will be making many more of these boxes and each one I will donate a portion to children's causes. Its very important for me to be able to do. 

So this gift someone can give to someone also has that beautiful gift attached knowing that you're helping a child and family in their fight for their child's health. Now about the gift itself the box is hand painted wood and I put a satin covered liner in the bottom as well as creating a "false bottom" covered in the same black satin.. The faceted red glass heart is all you see when you open the box but you have the person pull the chain and the false bottom pops free and the cards come up. The cards are done in watercolor painted then mounted on cardboard for strength. Both sides have the paper painted with a red and purple with black fleck background and the words "You stole my <3 (heart is right side up)" and I hand torn the edges for an interesting texture. They are hanging from a silver plated chain that's threaded through the cardboard center and glued down to prevent sliding. The bottom of the chain has a red swarovski crystal dangle and silver tone heart charm then under all of this is a beautiful .925 silver plated chain necklace with more red swarovski crystals, bright pink crackle glass bead, and another faceted heart pendant but this one is an AB finish crystal.  I have more ideas and I'm going to be making more of these soon and donating as I go.

I came up with this idea as I was falling asleep and usually I lose the idea when I wake up but I had to sit up and write down this one immediately before I went to sleep. I need to keep a idea journal close to my bed for certain!

Vent and breathe go to bed and wake up refreshed... Keep going keep trying Never give up!

I'm a little down tonight I dont know why its been a pretty painful day... Sometimes I fight that phrase so many turn to "why me?" I am stuck living in a bad situation (long story and a lot of personal history I wont bore thee with ^.~) and with this incurable genetic disorder that really takes its toll and prevents me from being the me of my dreams...  Who is that me? A far more fit & far less fat mom who can get out and go! Who can be active without worrying about a sprain/dislocation/random injury. A woman to go get at the world for all it is. Someone who isnt socially uneasy and shy, Who can keep up her daughter! To run, hike, and play all day long. Hell, even just being a mom who can drive and run necessary errands without needing someone else to take her here or there.... (my vision is totally messed up in my one eye and the other eye isnt well enough on its own...) I feel more like a burden. Here my husband is going to school doing co-op and working weekends for the moment at a pizza place and I feel nearly invisible to him sometimes because he is so busy and just really has no romantic interest at the moment for the run run run... I have to have him go to the store for us usually on his way home to save gas and etc. So lately I never go anywhere and when I do its a huge thing for us all to go. When I do go I end up collapsing in the car worse for the wear or hanging on for my sanity with pain screaming at me so bad I just cant concentrate on what I need to get or do anyway. I love him and I really know hes doing it for us all but I feel like I'm at a stand still and tonight I feel bad because I was trying to talk to him about how I'm feeling and he took it the wrong way like I'm wanting him to fix it but there is already so much he is doing anyway I couldnt expect that of anyone especially since I cant do it for myself..  I feel like my poor daughter is burdened by me too in a way.  She has been misbehaving a lot lately and I think its because she is stuck unable to flourish the way she should be able to like some kids do. I wish I could keep up and do all the things she dreams of..  She has been testing me lately and acting out... Really it makes me feel selfish for being in pain and not being able to be doing things with her like she really deserves. Its not her fault and she doesnt understand. She is such a beautiful wonderful blessing to me and has made me a better person for knowing her.. I am just having a blue day its been all day for weeks with her now and she is wearing me down... I wish I wasnt so held back by this disability there are days I pray to just be able to be able to make her meals keep up with her and get around the house. I need physical therapy and to get into a pool really REALLY bad but we have no time/money for that. As it is now we are eating garbage because we are broke so I cant afford a diet which i SEVERELY need. but still even with all this... I am very thankful for what I do have. I have clothes to wear, and food to eat (even if it is hot dogs, ramen and grilled cheese for a while), I have a roof over my head, a husband that loves me and is working his butt off for us to try to get on our feet. A daughter who I love with all of my heart and so much more really. I have to remind myself things will get better we will eventually have our own place (there is a whole big issue in itself with us living here but again another story best left unsaid...) I just pray there will be advances in Ehlers Danlos Syndrome research and that will open therapy and treatment options up for us... I use my crafts and arts as much as many times it truly hurts to do them and I know I shouldnt do them as much.. It helps like meditation a disconnection of mind from body where I am just a soul venting into a creation... I feel at peace there even the pain I can fade out like ripples in the water from giant waves crashing. I feel so selfish sometimes taking the time because my daughter needs so much and I wish I could run all day long 24/7 just for her. Right now I am trying to work forward to the shop because I also want to help her have shoes and HEALTHY food and money to be able to get by maybe take her to do things when Eric isnt at work.. I have all this craft crap from over the years when we had money and there was a sale I stocked up on supplies and all my birthday and xmas gifts are craft items heh I'm getting old! So I really decided I need to do my part of things to feel like I have something that I'm doing to try to help us. If my shop ever does start selling items that is. I'm so darn shy and awkward and it takes a great deal of self promotion. I grew up with such a stunted environment  of physical pain and abuse. I grew into an inward girl who tinkered with art projects and wrote in her journal she wouldnt share the slightest image/poem. That girl was she was too busy trying to survive the pain physically and mentally and that made her a target all the more..  It probably wont happen for me as far as artistic recognition I have no formal teaching just the love for art the love for knowing more the hunger to gain more knowledge and skill to express myself with... Its my passion in life just under wife and mother and I guess I loves my pets too hehe but as far as dreams of "what do you want to be when you grow up?" this is it... Artist creator crafter extraordinaire not that I truly feel my art is the extraordinary and I'm my own worst critic.. Creativity is my lifelong friend when I had nobody else I had my secret creations that helped me deal with the pains just for me I never let others see so that they couldnt truly see me but now I am a different person I want people to see me I want to put more personal artworks out there not just the craft side of things I have up but the fine art side that I always hid to avoid the eyes. Anyway I really am very thankful for that outlet.. I've been so fortunate with the ability to have it.. I am blessed and very very thankful for what I do have in my life as little as I feel it is some days like today when I feel sore and blue and stuck.. But who doesnt desire more from life at least sometimes... Who doesnt have blue days? I am going to turn this around look at the positives tonight... I am going to stop being so grumpy because I really am VERY blessed. I really do  have a lot to be thankful for... We all need to stop and remember that no matter how bad our environment may seem there is always someone who has a far worse landscape. Oh I pray for those tonight who are struggling in their own ways and to you I truly hope this will be the year of turn around. Bless you and let there be relief and peace to you soon. Dont be a stranger <3

Hallelujah I'm not Insane!

I found my embossing tool! I was starting to go crazy O.O
I'm so tickled I have it and guess where it was?! Where I first asked my husband to check (because he was right next to the end table) in the first place "oh its not in there! There's nothing in that end table!" LOL moving wreaks havoc on your organization skills for months! I'm so glad I found it! It did get me in gear and organize and I got to find out where a lot of things are that I didnt know where they were placed! Now my brain is just in overload with all the materials I'm trying to sort out what I want to complete first. I played with my embossing tool first of course and im so proud of my stamps I made :D I think I'm going to break out the watercolors and paint some cards pretty like and add the little stamps embossed to them for valentines day and etc and some cute gift boxes and necklaces perhaps. Hope everyone out there had a fantastic weekend!

Progress being made but ANNOYED!

So I got a ton of embossing/stamping stuff for xmas and I have really been looking forward to playing with it. I made a ton of stamps and everything wanted to make some valentines day cards and cute things but of course I cant find my heat gun to try out my embossing pads and powder. I went through ALLLLLL of my boxes the last few days that are in the house.. Bless my sweet hubby he went out to the shed and looked for me but said those boxes are all fabric (he doesnt have the best eye for the stuff "ew crafty stuff" so I better "do it my own damn self" lol). I had it just before we moved to make cool textures on some clay projects with tacky glue. I did get a lot organized better but now I am going to have to hit up the shed after lunch and tear through the bins upon bins of fabric. I collect fabrics but I havent gotten down to using much of it as of late. I hoard craft items with projects in mind at the time but get distracted and forget about the items until I run across them again. I've put myself on a no buy fabric mode no matter what! I wont allow myself near fabric sections to sway my wicked temptation of the clearance fabric bins and remnants. I dont wanna be like a craft version of hoarders buried alive LOL not that I have room but lordy I could use a break on this heat gun. It taunts me to no end!

New year of hope and a Handmade Domo Kun Accessories Contest to get it going! :D

I'm so blessed to have the friends and family that support me and love me for who I am. It makes me want to be a better person. I am starting a diet for the millionth time LOL but its a lifestyle change I'm not going to get CRAZY then fall off of it on this one just smart changes! Most of all the hard part to losing weight for me will be overcoming the pain to get my body in motion. I have to find a way for my Zebra (EDS) body going to burn the calories! I am going to try to sell things and take the money to get a pool pass somewhere because that is what my body truly needs. Low gravity ease of movement without as big of a risk of bad dislocations/sprains
 
Another HUGE thing on my to do list for the year is to amp up the organization. Since we moved a lot of my stuff is in the shed but I still have a ton in the room and with such a small room (staying with family because of a hard economic blow) I have a wreck going. It looks like a craft shop explosion of doom! I am going to bare myself to you in hopes that it will push me in embarrassment to get it organized to show you a remodel. Haha It almost needs a bulldozer! Remember this is only PART of my craft insanity and you cant even see the floor portion of chaos!

This is also my jump point into a contest that anyone can enter but whoever can show me their worst organizational nightmare gets 10 entries in return (so I dont feel ever so alone in the battle) Winner will recieve the super amazing Domo kun Accessory collection I'm working on RIGHT now! I will show you a hat as a teaser thats finished but the prize collection will have a lot more!

In the prize there will be the crochet Domo kun Adult size hat, a scarf to match! A domo kun headband, and a very special Domo kun necklace as well! So keep an eye out for picture updates on the contest as I get the items completed! I wanted to go ahead and mention it now as I get it in the works and it will be a while getting everything organized and cleaned up in here in the same process. I am letting this contest roll until April 17th (dreaded tax deadline day this year in order to make it easy to remember). If you love domo kun or know someone that does enter/spread the word! Until next time <3

UPDATE: I almost forgot how to have you enter the contest! Go to my Facebook page "like" my page and post to my wall "Enter me"